I’m here for you Faced with the pain of a grieving person, we want to take action to get them out of this bad patch. Sometimes, out of embarrassment, out of modesty, it happens that some people avoid the bereaved person and put them aside. This is not the best solution because this person, still weakened by the loss of a loved one, needs contact.
Even if the discussion is not at the rendezvous and the silence is often disturbing, being at the side of the person is already essential. So if she wants to talk or cry, she will just know that she will have someone to turn to and support her through this tough test of life. So don’t run away, even if you feel embarrassed and can’t find the words. It is very important to let the sufferer know that you are there when needed.
If you need to cry, cry
Trying to hide or hold back your emotions isn’t good for anyone. It is therefore essential to convey this message to the grieving loved one. Indeed, during these difficult times, the best thing to do is to let your feelings come out and relieve yourself by crying, screaming or expressing your emotions in one way or another.
Asking how are you feeling? And be attentive to his answer
It is very important to be able to talk freely about your feelings with loved ones. Regularly hearing from the grieving person, being there for them, giving them confidence by letting them sob, and letting them speak freely are all she needs.
Suggest to do something concrete
And thus avoid the redundant “Tell me if you need anything.” Even if you want to make yourself useful to the person who is suffering, with this phrase you are ignoring what they really need. However, she often does not know it herself and does not necessarily have the strength to see more clearly and ask you things. This is why it is better to offer something concrete, for example: “I am going to go shopping. I can bring you some bread if you want. ”
Ask questions about the deceased
By evoking the deceased, the one who is grieving risks being hurt and saddened. When we lose someone very close, that person haunts our thoughts. After a while, it may seem shocking to realize that people around you are no longer talking about it. It breaks our hearts to see that those who knew him have already forgotten him. Evoking a memory or an anecdote about the deceased then reminds the bereaved that it is still present in our minds, that we have not forgotten it, which is comforting for them.
I don’t know how you actually feel
It usually happens that we tell all grieving people I know how you feel. However, this phrase can provoke an aggressive reaction and lead to a response such as: “How do you know how I feel? You have never experienced such a thing. ” We must therefore avoid this kind of sentence and rather show him empathy. Indeed, we cannot understand exactly its degree of pain but we do understand it
Do not say anything
It is not a question of fleeing but on the contrary, of being present. Say nothing and let the person express themselves freely if they wish. The idea that we “hurt ourselves to talk about this” is completely wrong. Talking about your suffering does not make it worse, on the contrary, it allows you to evacuate it and not keep it within yourself.